We all were kids someday and we hardly realize that everything we were making will turn into a memory. When it comes to our child, we want to be the best parents. But the best thing does not come always in big, sometimes it’s the little things that matter the most. So, to make your child happy, here are a few easy tricks that will also have a reflective effect on your whole family.
Listening thoughtfully to your child shows respect. So when your child is telling something, try to concentrate on it. It does not only strengthen the parent-child bond but also improves the habit of listening to others. Be patient and listen to your child while he expresses his feelings. When they are saying something, don’t be judgmental and try to be present in a particular situation both physically and mentally. Let your child know he is getting uninterrupted attention.
Try to notice the things they are doing. If they are sharing something with you, let them know what is special about it and always show an interest in it. Notice your child’s body language as it helps your child to feel secure and valued. Observe what your child likes and encourage him to explore more and remember your tone of voice, gestures, facial expressions, and body language.
Follow a Family Slogan:
Record a positive family slogan or mantra like “We can do it together” or “Mistakes are proof that you are TRYING”. You can stick these types of lines to your refrigerator or wardrobe and point out these whenever your child feels discouraged. A family slogan can help to change a habit or reminds your kid to stay positive and work as an inspiration.
Spend Quality Time:
Allow your child to choose an activity where you indulge yourself for half an hour without any interruptions. Get some fun and go with the flow – make sure you are giving comfort to them. You can go for an evening walk or watch your kid’s favourite cartoon or TV programme together. There are plenty of ideas of spending quality time with your kids but at first, you have to know about your kid’s likes and dislikes. Both of you can dance or bake a cake or play badminton to lift up the mood.
Stick a Special Note:
You may write a special note that will put a smile on their face and make them think that how much they matter to you. Sometimes, you can add a piece of chocolate or a small gift with it. Just keep these into their lunch-box or school-bag. He must be amazed while discovering a note – “Do you know that sometimes your mom kisses your cheek when you are sleeping at night?” Encouraging words will make them feel good about themselves inside and out.
Read Books Together:
Kids generally love listening to their parents’ voices. Read a book with your child that helps in developing the key listening skills and the habit of reading books. It will also make the children stimulate their imagination and expand their understanding of the world. Remember a good listener can get a better place of understanding.
Create Warm Memories:
Give your child hugs and kisses to realize them the true affection. Physical intimacy with your children is needed to enhance the relationship between parent and child. Later on, they will probably recall these special memories to feel the warmth of bonding. Research shows kids with engaged parents solve problems more successfully, become productive, and foster positive things.
Give them the Essence of Independence:
Who loves hearing “no” all the time? Remember, this is the age when the child starts exploring their passions. Make them learn the differentiation between good and bad, but don’t make them feel overburdened. If he or she is trying to do things themselves, let them do. Maybe it will be a mess, but gradually they will become self-reliant and independent. So, always allow the young kids a chance to get their own solutions. Disciplines are necessary for life and make them understand the limits. But you can manage it in a cool way so that they can enjoy getting disciplined. So, forget arguing on little staff and focus on the things that practically matter.
Keep Your Promises:
If you promise something to your kids, then keep your promises. Suppose, you have promised to get them some toys if they complete their homework, don’t forget to follow it. Because it will teach them to have trust in you. That doesn’t mean you have to buy some precious gifts all the time, you can go for a walk or ride a bicycle together.
Sometimes, let them do whatever they want. If the child loves to get wet in the rain or loves to play with mud, let her do. This is a very effective way to spread happiness into your child. Not only that, but it will also help your child to deal with unpredictability and randomness. From each experience, he will gain something and become stronger. So, a little bit of rain or jumping in puddles won’t make your kids melt, rather it will strengthen their immune system and help in de-stressing.
Setting limits is important as it teaches them appropriate behaviour and helps them to get disciplined in life. Disciplines are not any kind of punishment. Sometimes, you feel guilty about saying no! Simply because you don’t want to spoil your kid’s mood or can’t control a temper tantrum but limits are good for kids as it makes them learn to acquire the appropriate behaviour. When you are saying “No video games in dinner table” or “stop watching cartoon because it’s the time to get your homework done”, you are teaching them to manage all the responsibilities. Only the parents have to learn the ways of saying “no”, sometimes you can draw an explanation of negative consequences.
Avoid Food Fights:
Don’t try to force or insist on your child eat all the time if they are refusing. A healthy kid instinctively understands how much to eat. Just let it go if they refuse to finish whatever is on the plate. Most importantly, avoid discussing what they like and dislike to eat in front of them. To develop healthy eating habits into them, try to make them sit at a dining table with the family where everyone can share their opinion about different dishes. Sometimes kids can be complaining about your cooking. You can simply end this matter with one or two sentences like “Okay! You don’t have to eat it” or “We can’t help, see we have no other options”. Forcing them all the time makes them obstinate. Allow your children to choose what they want to have in dinner at least once a week.
“Wow” or “let’s do it” are the simple words that show your enthusiasm to your kids. If you notice your child is doing something creative or nice, let him know about your feeling. This will help them focus on their interests and engage in learning. Once your child explores the joy and excitement in learning, they will become confident and organized.
Let them Teach you Something:
Maybe you aren’t aware of what they’ve already being taught in school. You may ask it in the mood of playing or can arrange a “student-teacher” game. Through these, both of you can discover a lot of things. These will surely enhance the skills of good communication. If your kids are shy by nature and don’t want to communicate with people, it is the best way to keep them engaged.
Don’t Accept Disrespect from Your Child:
Don’t allow the kid to be rude or showing disrespect to you or anyone else. If she does, make them understand why this is not good for her. They are not conscious and not paying enough attention to the situation. So, generally they do not notice the impact of the behaviour on others. Unfortunately, we cannot teach them to be respectful in the heat of the moment. Stay calm however tough it is and try to decode the behaviour. Try to connect their feelings by offering an empathetic response. Sometimes, a hug or simply a kiss is better than any verbal response, sometimes you have to be strict or rude to make them understand that showing disrespect is harmful.
Share Old Stuff of Yours:
Show your old diaries, photos, letters, or artworks to her when you were at her age. These will make a very beautiful connection and she can relate her childhood with yours. You can motivate her to create wonderful memories and enjoy them later on. These will help grow positivity in them even when she is stressed.
Print Their Childhood Photos:
Displaying a lot of photographs of them around the home helps to boost their confidence and self-esteem. Photographs not only give us a glimpse of the past, but it also helps to connect with the particular moment in an instant. So, it is a very unique idea to save memories through interesting and creative pictures.
Give Short Break:
Taking a short break from studying is very important as continuous studying brings boredom. So a brain-break can make homework less frustrating for kids. It is important to set brain-breaks beforehand and try not to repeat the same thing every day. Sometimes, you can arrange some rock music in the middle of homework and dance or clap to the beat. Or your kid may indulge in some physical activities or meditation. For instance, once the math homework is complete, he can take a 5 or 10-minute brain-break. Give specific instructions about when the break will be over and explain the activity. You can start the timer and when the break is winding down, you can ask them, “Wasn’t that fun? Let’s complete the homework now.”
Make them learn social skills:
Most of the parents often neglect to teach their kids about social skills. There is no need to give extra pressure on this as the art of the conversation is the best way to make them learn some social skills. So, ask your children some “you” questions every day like “What did you do at the school today?” or “What is the best thing you observed today?” or “Where do you want to go in this weekend?” You can also arrange a simple game for your kid. Give a sheet of paper to your family members including your kids. Now, tell them to write what they think about each other. Making eye contact will help to become the kid more confident and assertive.
Show respect to your Partner:
Always support your spouse’s basic approach to raising kids. If you quarrel or argue with your partner on something in front of your kids, make sure they can also know how you make up the entire thing. Be friendly with your kid and let her know how an intimate relationship looks or feels like. Don’t try to hide something from them as children are born curious, rather tell the truth in a lucid way.
Watch the night sky together:
Find and view the planets together as kids love stargazing and if possible, let them know the names of the most famous stars. You can also spend time together by watching the early morning sky. You can also ask them to locate their favourite stars and constellations throughout the year. So, stargazing with kids can be real fun and beside this, it can encourage their love for science. You can also arrange a kid-sized telescope if your kids show interest in it. Activity books or cosmic colouring books are also a great way to get familiar with the stars.
Don’t Try to Fix Everything:
Always remember, you are a parent and a human being not a superhuman! Allow them to find their own solutions. Suppose, you ask your child to clean the room and then you start doing it on your own. The importance or priority of the task loses its value for your kid. So, do not rush immediately when your child is in some minor problems or frustrations, let them apply their own intelligence to get rid of that particular situation. This will help developing self-reliance and resilience into them. Depending on you in every situation and matter is not at all a good idea.
Live a little Greener:
Tell your kids how much it is important to take care of the environment. Each and every day you can spend a little time with your little one in nature. Research shows that it has the ability to enhance anyone’s mood and increase overall happiness at an optimum level. So, you can go with your child for a walk or visit a park or search out a nearby green space. If you have enough space in your house or apartment, you can keep some indoor plants in the balcony and tell your kids how to take care of them.
Show your Love:
It is very necessary to tell them how much you love them and saying ‘I love you’ is the best way to show your feelings to them. Start your morning with a hug that stays a little longer. The kids need the loving gestures of their parents to feel emotionally stable. When they are sad or feel frustrated, a cuddle can make up their mood. Research shows that a child needs a lot of different sensory stimulation for normal development as it helps in growing a healthy brain and body. Even, hugs are good for their emotional health and calm the temper tantrums. Don’t show your love only when they are doing well but love them in every situation. Make them realized that they are loved because of no reason and condition, so that the child will know the true value of their lives.
Even if you get annoyed at the repetitive nature of your children’s misdeeds, forgive them rather than hurting them continuously or holding any grudge. If they are doing something bad, tell them or let them know but don’t keep this in your heart. It is quite normal for a teen to make a mistake but if you constantly rebuke them or give punishment then the parent-child relationship will turn into bitterness, painful and distrustful. Find something positive like you can tell them the story of your mistakes when you were at her age and how did you recognize that you were doing something wrong. If he do some repetitive mistakes, let him know what you want him to do –clearly, simply and firmly. Now ask them to repeat the instruction back to you loudly and clearly. Try to explain why the particular things have been called as mistakes and why people don’t do this generally. But you should not feel your child negative while criticizing them.
Make them Practice Gratitude:
Practicing gratitude increases a child’s happiness and help them to be more empathetic in life. Kids imitate what they see around them. So if you are thankful for everything in your life, they will do the same. Every day during dinner, tell each and every member of your family to share what they are thankful for. This can help children see how each member contributes in their own way to the family. Seek help from your kids and if they do it, give thanks to him in front of everyone and personally.
Explain to Your kids why values are important:
Try to be kind, generous, honest and respectful to others. Try to help others and most importantly make others feel good. This will help in gaining a sense of responsibility and self-worth in the kids. When you are telling bedtime stories to your kids, tell them what characteristics make a good person and give some explanations.
Get your kids moving:
We all know that an idle mind is a devil’s workshop. Brain development is strongly connected with their activity level. So, give your child the opportunity to be active as a sedentary lifestyle is harmful to them. He may love watching television whenever he gets free time, but it can cause an adverse effect on their brain. Engage your child with his or her friends in some physical activity like playing, exercising, etc. Even a brisk walk or aerobics can be effective in improving their mood or temper tantrum.
Protect Your Kids’ Health:
Encourage your kids to brush twice a day and clean themselves regularly. Get your children vaccinated in proper time. Sometime they may not clearly express their problems so you should be alert enough regarding their health. The parents should notice if their kids are wearing a helmet or a seat-belt when riding a bike and car. Always consult with a doctor and listen to his advice when your kids fall sick as overprescribing medicines can cause serious problems to them.
Take care of Yourself:
Remember, you are the most important and precious thing to your children. Try to make time to relieve your stress because it is important for both of you and your kids. Enjoy your personal space by spending quality time with your friends, going for a walk, meditating, music therapy, watching some good movies or reading books whatever it be. Those who don’t love themselves, they cannot love others. So, it is not selfish to love yourself, rather it will make you more attentive to care for others.
Parenting is amazing but it is not so easy. It is the greatest blessing in your life and indeed a long journey. There are so many parenting styles and eventually, they also change depending on the situations and characteristics of your kid. But always remember, you are the best parent for your kids. So, have patience and focus on the bigger goal.